I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
