dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Your penis caused this!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
