as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
