i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize