so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
