Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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