Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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