I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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