just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just want to make out with him forever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
