The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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