Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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