I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
