im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
