What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
