I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
