we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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