do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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