I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
