So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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