hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
