the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.