Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm too high and old for this...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.