Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dating After Heartbreak
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police