so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
