If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
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I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.