I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Randomize
