I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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