Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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