Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
