I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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