At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
