I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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