the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just had sex on a roof
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
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