i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
