I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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