so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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