Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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