I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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