She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
