Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
