God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
