For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
