oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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