apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
