Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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