How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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