thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
