and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
