just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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