It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He did a backflip because drugs
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
