How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
