Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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