If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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