I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
