Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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