big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
