My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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