If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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