well I can't set my house on fire every night
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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