stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
