Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're like the curious george of whores
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize
