My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
