Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
